5 Randoms: Dirty Dirty Men, Mostly.

18 05 2012

1. You know when different power cords all get tangled up together, like your i-pod and its headphones or your phone charger tries to make love to your computer charger and minute upon minute is spent getting them to stop being such a mess? That’s how I feel my mornings sometime start. Like If I can untangle one knot–waking up–from another knot–turning my frown upside down–my day will end up being good, but if I’m walking around all twisted, thoughts intertwined, I just won’t play right.

2. Yesterday I went for a run after work. Usually I run all through Cheesman Park; I ¬†walk for like 5 minutes then I run all the way back home. (It’s really not that much running, but at least it’s something.) Anyway, while I was on the “walking” part of my excursion I passed two men sitting on a bench. These men had an unrecogniable age, because they had obviously done drugs for so long it was hard to tell if they were like 20, 60, 40 years old. Either way they were looking right at me, I didn’t want to be a complete asshole so I said hello. This is what followed:

“Daaammnn you sure are gorgeous.”

“I don’t feel very gorgeous right now.” (Because you know I had just ran like 2 miles in the heat and was all red and blotchy and tired and such.)

“Well, you are. I hope you tell your boyfriend how lucky he is. . . . And if you don’t have a boyfriend you should give me your number. . . .”

At this point I am pretty far away from them. And I just laugh it off.

Then they guy stands up and yells, “IF I WAS AS GORGEOUS AS YOU I’D JUST STAND IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND FUCK MYSELF ALL DAY LONG!”

And Ok Cupid came to life.

I wonder if he knows women get paid to actually do that? I mean, I don’t get paid to actually do that, but some women do. . .

3. Since moving to Denver I have essentially lost my vegan community. This makes me sad. It was nice having support, knowing that other people shared similar perspectives when it comes to what they put in their bodies. I know they’re not that far away, I just never see them anymore. And I miss them. I also miss feeling a part of something. And having back-up when others try to put me in the defense. I will not play that game. You eat what you want, I’ll eat what I want, let it be.

4. This particularly old man was in the store yesterday going through the porn. I love it when people get phone calls and they act as if they’re not actually in our store. He did this. And proceeded to talk about his dog, and not just his dog, but his dog’s poop. THEN after like 45 minutes of him going through ALL the porn in our store, he brings the ones he finally chose up the counter. As I’m ringing him out he says to me:

“I bought a video from here and didn’t really care for it. It’s been more than 30 days, can I bring it back or am I just fucked.”

Do you remember the part where he’s old? Like 80.

The whole scenario felt really absurd to me.

No, old man, just because you didn’t care for a porn you bought 2 months ago from us that you picked out from the $10 bin does not mean you can return it. Whether or not you’re fucked though, that’s up to you.

I didn’t say that.

I did say, “No, you cannot return it. But you can give it to a friend, if you don’t care for it. Maybe he will.”

He looked at me like I was crazy.

5. In my newsfeed this article came up (that was kind of old), 5 Reasons Being Single Sucks More Than You Thought.

The arguments made sense. BUT, it was based entirely around money. Like the main reasons being single sucks more than being married all have to do with capitalism. Which I find to be complete bullshit. So, if you’re single, you have to work more, you get paid less and you have to spend more money on trips, taxes, etc. Well, isn’t that the system’s fault, not marriage itself? Shouldn’t we work on changing those policies instead of just having more people get married to save money? Is it worth saving money to be monogamous with someone who is just “okay” for the rest of your life? Seems pretty ridiculous to me.

I think being single is fantastic. And what people do in their personal lives–married or single shouldn’t have that much pull in the work place. Because it really isn’t the company’s business how we spend our time or who we spend it with, as long as we get the job done satisfactorily.

I don’t even remember everything I wrote in this article, it being over a year old, but I’m sure my feelings are close to the same. Here are my Top 5 Reasons Not to Get Married.¬†

Peace.


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