So, I guess this is the summer of trying new things. Maybe my entire life should just be about trying new things. Seems like a more adventurous sense of existence than just staying in the same scene doing the same shit all the time. Anyway. I went to my first ever GOTH BAR the other night when I got off of work. I wasn’t planning to go to a GOTH BAR, but was convinced and so it happened. I obviously didn’t fit in, but luckily I had worn a black shirt that day so at least there was a partial blend.
I’m learning how to fit in everywhere without fitting in anywhere.
I am a floater. I have no identity. Or my identity rests in the ability to identify with all people on some level.
Not just a reader of books but a reader of people. Is that weird?
I can see how some people might be intimidated by the Goth community, with their pale pale skin, they’re dark dark makeup, the platforms, the leather, the ethereal dancing, but that’s all outward appearance. Just like any other group these people want a place they belong, a place of acceptance, a place of relate-ability. And through they’re appearance they’re able to find other likeminded souls easier.
Though it’s not my style I had a great time. Perhaps because I currently don’t have much style I find intrigue in people who do.
Okay. It’s not that I don’t have style, but I feel like I’m exploring all these new places in an attempt to figure out what I do and do not like in regards to representing myself. I’m free to do whatever I want, be whoever I want, go wherever I want—and sometimes, even though this is an amazing time it my life, it can be overwhelming. (There are indeed many styles, places, things out there).
So, I’m going to be chill. I’m going to go out there and have adventures. I’m going to explore places I have never been, be around people I never thought I’d get along with, and I’m going to see where it leads.
Just the other day I swapped spit with the best kisser of my life (this is a major feat as I’ve kissed many people) and he isn’t really the type of guy I generally go for. Look what happens when one tries new things. Magic! Surprises! Entertainment!
The biggest question now is, what do I do next?