1.) Our neighbors were gone for like 2 + weeks. They come back. And move out two days later. There goes our free internet and our porch chairs. Damn. Anyone looking for an apartment? It’s a cute one (with cute neighbors).
2.) I went to my first strip club the other night. Honestly, I thought I would hate it. I thought all the women would be Barbie-like with big fake boobs and tiny waists. But the opposite happened. The women were of many shapes and sizes, big boobs, little boobs, big butts, no butts, smiles, no smiles, Black, White, Asian; so many women making bank off of men. Good for them. Because until our entire system of oppressive capitalism changes. . . I say, shake what you got. (If you’re doing it in an empowered conscientious way and not because you’re manipulated into it or feel like it’s your only choice.) Also, it made me feel more comfortable in my own skin. Seeing women of all shapes and sizes completely naked and embracing their sexuality was revealing–on multiple levels.
3.) Also, that very night I ended up at a random Reggae event. It was Black & White themed. Good thing I went or the “white” part of the theme probably wouldn’t have happened.
4.) I’ve been getting mega-creepers at work. Two in one week. And I’ve realized it’s incredibly difficult to tell other people how someone else is being creepy. Creepy is hard to describe because it’s not just what they say, but how they say it. It’s a look in their eye. It’s doing something awkward and taking too long of a time doing it. It’s lying and being terrible at it. Guess what creeps? Just because I sell sexy things doesn’t mean I want to have sexy time with you.
5.) Speaking of sex. I’ve decided to have more of it with more people. I am determined to become a Super Slut. Every. Single. Dick. In. Denver. (That’s every Single dick, as in, not-taken dick, not every single one of them.)
6.) 5 is not completely true.
7.) I’ve realized that for many many years I have been incredibly good at reading people; what they need, what they want, and then mirroring those needs and wants for them. This has come in handy in regards to my like-ability—as I have a rather abrasive personality or I can be abrasive if I’m not careful. But, that’s the thing. I am not going to be careful anymore. I’m going to stop mirroring and I’m going to start living for me. I’m going to go after what I want, what I need, and I’m going to stop caring if other people care. This has been a theoretical issue with me for years, in concept I don’t care, but in reality I totally do. No longer! Sure, perhaps I will turn into a narcissistic ego-maniac but it’s not like I’ll be the first. And if it doesn’t work out for me, I can always go back to who I was before, right?
8.) The biggest issue is figuring out what I want. Wading through what society has told me I should want and what I want deep down within. Hence the Super Slut. Being a “slut” is “bad”. . . but why? Why does monogamous heterosexual relationships have to be “the norm” and even if they are “the norm” why do they have to be “the only” acceptable relationship model. To me it appears to be another way of controlling women’s goddess-like sexual allure. By taming us sexually, you control us on all fronts (it’s a theory I’m still working through…perhaps too third-wave post-feminist but whatever). I don’t agree with the monogamy model. I find it boring. Sure it works well for people. I actually don’t know if it “works well” for most people, but it works okay for the general public. But the general public has no confidence and likes to follow guidelines instead of inventing their own.
9.) I’m going to invent my own guidelines. If you’d like to follow them, you’re more than welcome.
10.) I’m excited for the development of my new personality. Be on the look out people. It’s either going to be the. most. amazing. thing. ever. or the Crashiest Trashiest Courtney Love-esque down-fall you’ll ever witness.
(I feel like there is a bigger development here that I haven’t quite discovered yet, perhaps tomorrow it will all tie together).
