1) It smells like a cigarette in my apartment, which I find strange because we don’t smoke cigarettes in the apartment. I think there’s someone working on the basement apartment and he keeps smoking cigarettes and the smoke keeps drifting up here. What an ass. Also–the basement apartment is for rent if any one wants to live below me and be my cool new neighbor (who also happens to make/bring me coffee in the morning).
2) My feet are cold.
3) Why is it just my feet? What’s wrong with my feet!!!!
4) I think I need to go for a walk. Maybe it will help circulate the blood flow in my body a bit better and maybe it will help me get out of this funk.
5) I don’t know why I’m in a funk, I could guess though. It probably has something to do with razor burn. Nope, wait. Not razor burn. Not having a job. I guess there’s a lot more worth connected to money/ability/career than I care to admit. Also I have a looming presence that basically makes me feel guilty for not being as successful as everyone else who has some how managed to get a job. Any job.
6) I don’t want any job. You can read that whichever way makes you feel better.
7) I want to bite someone.
8) No really, like a vampire. Though I am willing to bite the person pretty much anywhere, not just the neck. I am hungry for flesh!!!
9) No. I am not a zombie.
10) Though, I do have a black soul.
Please enjoy this by not enjoying this. I mean, please don’t enjoy this just because you think you should not enjoy this. Wait. I don’t know. But here you go anyway.