1. When the bartender comes up at the end of the night and tells me everything will be okay and hugs me, twice–proof that I spend way too much time drinking in public.
2. I should, at all times, have a bag of tater tots in the freezer, just in case of emergency.
3. I need to develop a proper evil villain cackle. I’m getting pretty close. Maleficent is still my idol and I do not understand why in the world they picked Angelina Jolie to play her in a movie. I mean maybe it would have worked ten years ago when she was still a badass, but now? No. No. No. I don’t really know who would have been better, originally I would have said Angelica Huston but she’s too old now. Maybe Mara Rooney? Too young. Finnne, Angelina, it’s all you.
4. I don’t have feelings anymore. Like, I know how I’m supposed to respond and act, but inside–nothing. For example, I heard some interesting news last night that should have made me angry or sad but instead I was just like wtf, that’s dumb, let’s get drunk. And that’s what happened. I wonder when it’s all going to be realized. I wonder if I’ll ever cry?
5. I want chinese food every day, but every day I find a way not to order it. I think I’m afraid I’ll become addicted to it, then Peter and I will have to start seeing each other regularly and I don’t know if he’d be a good match for me. (Peter of Peter’s Chinese–also he’s probably married and such so that was just a really bad joke.)
6. I went to bed at like 3 a.m. last night then I woke up at 7:30 and went for a run. I think I did run the hangover part out, so all that was left was tired and I fixed that by going right back to sleep. This could possibly be my new hangover solution.
7. I need someone to hold me accountable on a number of things 1. My writing 2. Working out 3. Limiting my intoxication 4. cooking more 5. Finding a better job–feel free to take any or all of these holding-me-accountable options.
8. Confession: I watched the first season of Jersey Shore. And it wasn’t as dumb as I thought it was going to be. Maybe because I was expecting it to be much worse? I don’t know. I mean I understand their desire to have a good time, to meet people, to have crazydrunksex and punch things–perhaps I should move to the shore and become ONE OF THEM. Bahaha. That could never happen.
9. All I want relationship-wise right now is reliable sex and someone to watch netflix with. I don’t think this is too much to ask. If you know of anyone who may be interested in this setup send them my way!
10. I have the most amazing friends in the world. And I thank them for putting up with me and getting me through this year of 27 changes.