1.) There was a free box at work today (free box hahaha) and I picked out this hair trimmer that came with all these designs a person could “shave” onto themselves. So, I tried to shave a tear drop on my crotch. That’s right, a tear drop because I’m sad. Now I’m even more sad because it didn’t work and now southland is just a mess.
2.) But, it’s a good month to explore weird hair arrangements since no one is going to see what’s going on down there. 2 days going strong!
3.) So. I made some enemies at work. These dancers came in the other night and pointed at a dress; this was our convo:
Them: “Is that the only one left?”
Them:”How much does it cost?”
Me: “I don’t know, let me look at the price tag.”
Them: “What, are you like new here?”
Me: “Well, I don’t memorize the price of everything in the store.”
Them: *roll eyes at each other*
I walk away.
Them whispering loud enough for me to hear: “Someone’s in a baaaad moooood.”
Uggh… I didn’t mean for it to come out sounding rude, but it was a pretty dumb question. I mean, is it impossible for people to look at the price tags themselves? Do they really think we know what EVERYTHING in the store is priced at?
They came back today and told the other girl that they hated me. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Making friends left and right.
4.) So I was looking for an image of a teardrop and I forgot that people get those tattooed on their faces to indicate they’ve murdered someone. If I get a tattoo of a tear drop on my crotch does that mean I fucked someone’s brains out and they’re now DEAD??? Because it should. Not that I have, but maybe I’ll try that next May, it will be Man-Full May and I’ll go around like a sex addict and try to murder men with my kung-pow vag clutch power. That sounds really gross. I am a gross person.
5.) Why do I keep eating candy? Someone make me stop! Seriously, I’ve asked this before, does anyone want to take control of my life for a week? It’s like dominating me without dominating me. I mean, like you can’t beat me or anything you just get to tell me what to do. It would probably get really tiring but maybe you’re a weirdo and that would be fun for you. The safe word is swedishfish and you can control me until I eat them all, wait, too late.