Writing. Life.

20 01 2012

I find this slightly difficult because it’s my first post on my new site. I can’t decide if I want to write on the same sort of topics in the same sort of style like I was doing on blogger. I figured it would be best to just go for it.

So…here goes.

I’ve been reading writing tips on developing characters and I realized that I, myself, am a sad sad protagonist. If an author were trying to write about me—no one would want to read it.

My desires and fears are not clear.

At least not to me.

Maybe whoever is authoring my life knows and will reveal them soon to me, but I can’t quite figure it out.

Perhaps my desires and fears are weak and undefined because I am not actually a protagonist I am just someone’s background character…a character actor to help move the plot forward in other people’s lives.

Or maybe my biggest fears are actualizing my desires?

 I’m afraid of what I desire?

The tips also suggested forcing change upon the character because humans are naturally fearful of change. Humans will do everything they can to steer clear of change.

And I realized that’s exactly what I’ve been doing since moving to Denver. I’ve been avoiding transforming myself. I’ve been avoiding finding my “dream job” because I’m afraid I won’t be “me” anymore. I’ll be someone who wears “business casual” and that is actually a pretty big fear of mine.

I’m comfortable enough.

So. As a writer writing my own life I’m going to have to force myself out of my comfort zone and actual accomplish some of my desires…whatever those turn out to be once I sit down and actually think about them.

Then build my character accordingly.

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