5 Randoms: Writing + Being Fat + Not Liking You.

18 06 2012

1.) I’m changing my habits, without reading the book about changing habits. I’m just going to do it, because I can. The biggest change—actually writing. This week I’m going to attempt 10 hours. And I hope to slowly grow to 20 hours a week. I just have to get into a pattern and get over my psychological fear of actually doing the thing I should be doing. I don’t know which is harder– the development of a pattern or  getting over the fear. The pattern is difficult because my work schedule changes every week and it’s usually something ridiculous like, close the store Monday, work a mid-shift Tuesday and open Wednesday. So yeah, establishing a routine isn’t very possible. But making sure every room is clean, dishes are washed, emails returned, phone calls made–just to distract myself from writing– also not easy to get over. A writer’s dilemma–or just our basic behavior?

2. I want to reward myself if I’m able to do it; nothing too big since I need to do it every week any way. It’s just the beginning changes that are going to be the most challenging. I can’t even think of a good/cheap reward except maybe a trip to the thrift store for a “new” outfit. Maybe some SWEET ACTION! The best ice cream around town (pretty much the only vegan ice cream around town).

3. Speaking of vegan, there are two things I’ve always been insecure about, my weight and my intelligence. It’s taken a lot of time to accept what I look like physically as well as accept my limitations mentally. When people make “jokes” about either though, I still get pissed. And I will probably continue to do so my entire life. People can make all the cracks they want to about vegans in general because I know it’s just a defense mechanism brought on by feelings of guilt that have nothing to do with me. When it starts to have something to do with me, I’m no longer going to play nice.

4. In regards to playing nice—I want to learn how to punch.

People say, “oh you just swing your fist at someone’s face/stomach/balls etc.,” but no, a good punch has more going on than just that. I’m almost entirely sure of it.

5. It’s super hot around here, which I don’t mind–except when it comes to coffee. I need some sort of wake-up boost in the morning, especially if I’m going to be writing for hours, but hot coffee is just not working. I’m going to have to start brewing it the night before and chilling it. It’s the only way.

Because I already drink too many energy drinks at work.

I’d say it’s a terrible habit, but to be honest, if drink one I can guarantee-sell high-end toys with a smile. If I don’t drink one, I really don’t give a F what people buy. So, they’re worth it. Even though I’m sure in ten years they will be the cause of every known new/weird/deadly disease out there.

This guy is helping me get through my writing day. 



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