10 Randoms: I Will Dildoddle Your Caboddle.

26 10 2012

1.) Things are breaking all around me. More importantly I am breaking things all around me. Mostly little things but some of those things are going to be quite a pain in the ass to replace, like the mega-lid that covered my mega-pan that I use to cook with all the time. Bummerville. I’m wondering if all this breaking is a sign that I need to re-focus, slow down, pay more attention to my surroundings, quit being such an anxiety-ridden quack. It’s hard to tell at this point, it could just be the alignment of the moon (I really need to quit blaming the alignment of the moon for things.)

2.) I bought my winter boyfriend yesterday. I’ve been eyeing him for months. He’s called Tiger  from the company Fun Factory.  Medical grade silicone. Rechargeable. 2 year-warranty. I think he’ll be my longest latest least stressful relationship. I should probably name him something other than Tiger. I’ll wait until we have a date or two before I decide on a proper one.

3. Speaking of toys. Since I have +10 now I’ve decided I need to invent a caboodle for toys, but of course I want to call it a dildoodle. Isn’t that kind of brilliant. DON’T STEAL MY IDEA OR I’LL MURDER YOU (you can guess how I’d do it too I’m sure.) So, it will be like a trunk or a chest, but it will have compartments in that are lined with material that doesn’t cause those little fabric stickys and is also waterproof. And duh, it will have a removable top shelf and the bottom will be vast so a person could put all their larger items (double dongs, whips, squirtsheets, etc.) in it. I should probably talk to the Liberator company about this. I really should not have made this idea public.

4.) I got a new haircut. The platinum is gone. Goodbye summer, hello winter. I think my roommate is the best stylist I’ve ever had. I’d recommend her to everyone, but she’s very selective and will only cut the coolest people’s hair.

5.) That song, “I will do anything for love,” is playing at the bookstore I’m at. I’ve never really understood this song. Because it’s so vague. WHAT WON’T HE DO?!! It’s so confusing. How could he say he’d do anything and then take it back? It’s like Rose from Titanic saying she will never let go and then she basically pushes Jack into the ocean to die.

6.) All of my Halloween plans have now fallen through. It sort of depresses me. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, but this year it’s been rather blah. I hope it changes. I have a panda to dress up as (And Mia Wallace and Jane from Daria and maybe a Juggalette and who knows what else!)

7.) Why would any woman want to be a Juggalette? In real life. During dress-up time I can understand. But I cannot understand it in reality.

8.) Sometimes when I’m not at work but I’m close to a door and I see someone youngish walk in I wonder, “why is no one id-ing them!” then I realize that most places are not 18+ older. It’s awkward because I always look at them funny.

9.) I’m meeting another vegan in like 20 minutes. Let’s hope it’s not like the last vegan I met who was hung-over and insisted on talking about sports almost the entire time even though I specifically said at the beginning of our conversation that I hated sports and didn’t want to talk about them. The only good thing I found in that is the fact that the vegan community is now becoming quite diverse. It used to be when someone said they were vegan and you were vegan you’d have more in common than just that—now that’s not necessarily true.

10.) Sometimes bookstores can be overwhelming because I realize how many other people write books, how many books I have not read and how many books of mine are not on the shelf. But, one day, one day there will be at least one of mine in here. At least one.



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