5 Randoms: Death, Depression and Sex

12 06 2013

1. I used to say that the only thing that kept me from killing myself was that there were so many good books left in the world to read. Now I’d like to add that there are so many good albums left in the world to listen to. I suppose if I ever get through them all I can go ahead and knock myself off.

2. I was talking to my guy friend the other day regarding this drunk dude hitting on me at the bar and me declining. He said he’d rather have bad sex than no sex at all. And I had to disagree. I would rather go home eat a burrito and watch some Netflix then have to deal with his jack-rabbit 2-minute fiesta followed by his whiskey-breath snoring bed hogging. Not to mention worrying about babies and STDs. No thanks.

I know. It’s not like we can always determine whether the sex is going to be good or not, but it’s pretty clear to me if the guy is swaying from intoxication he probably will have trouble performing while naked.

3. I’ve been slightly depressed lately. I took a drinking break because I was doing it every night and I was getting too good at it. Like in Arrested Development when Lucille drinks Kitty under the table, yeah, I could go head to head with Lucille good. But I think these last few days I’ve been going through a minor detox. I am really irritated and I am annoyed with everyone, even people that I LOVE. But the best part of all this is that it’s bringing me back to my creative side. More writing, more painting, more obscure thoughts about humanity.

woman with handkerchief

4. The other day I went on a happy hour date and the dude said all sorts of fucked of gender things. Like the only reason men stick around and talk to women is because they want to have sex with them. He “barely was even listening to what I was saying” because he was “picturing me naked.” His Russian woman friend told him that American women don’t know how to “drop the handkerchief.” I’ve been exploring the concepts of Dominance and Submission and honestly I don’t know how two people could even enjoy this type of relationship if there wasn’t an intelligent mutual understanding of the dynamic and what it means to each one and to the couple collectively.

Also, I’m pretty sure he was trying to neg me. But I called him out on it. So then he stepped it up to neg level 4, subtle passive aggressive negs. Got to be careful of the older gentlemen sometimes. They’ve been playing the game a lot longer and know advanced skills.

5. I have two job interviews tonight. If neither grab me I’m running away to South America. I am serious. Honestly, I’d probably rather run away than take either of these jobs, but I will let unfold life’s journey for me as it goes.



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