7 Randoms: Sexy and Disgusting. Oh, and a Gyllenhaal.

10 09 2013

1. Sometimes I have secret competitions with myself that could be deemed disgusting by many humans. For example, lately I’ve been attempting to see how bad I can smell before I have to take a shower. It can get pretty raunchy, particularly after I go for a run around city park in the 80+ degree heat. Another example, I have a hole in the front of my underwear and I’m trying to see how many more times I can wear them before it completely tears in half.

2. I was watching American Ninja Warrior and I think it should be a requirement for the “ninjas” to compete shirtless. Like, why even watch it if I can’t watch their muscles working?

ninja

3. There’s this rumor that you’re most like the 5 people you spend most of your time with, so I finally get why I don’t hang out with anyone in real life since I spend most of my time with the crew from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

4. Jake Gyllenhaaal has a new movie coming out. I don’t even care what it’s about. Just like Prince of Persia, if he’s in it, I’m there– regardless of quality.jake gyllenhaal

(I mean look at that face!)

5. Today I went on my longest run so far in city park, which wasn’t really that far, a little less than four miles. My biggest problem isn’t leg cramps or trouble breathing or even boredom, my biggest problem(s) are my boobs. I’ve gotten to the point where I wear two sports bras and still by the end of it my nipples are like WTF!??!! are you doing to us!!? I’ve looked up how to stop this pain but nothing so far has seemed to work. I don’t want to stop, because I’ve become slightly addicted to the running, which is a much better addiction than like smoking or drinking–at least for the rest of my body. Remember that old song from the late 90’s about the detachable penis. . . I kind of want that with my breasts. I mean, they’re not that big, they don’t really get in the way or anything, I think they’re just getting rubbed the wrong way. And no one likes to be rubbed the wrong way.

6. Is anyone else tired of all the twerking? Can’t we go back to shaking our tail-feathers or something equally as corny?

twofunnybirds

7.  I have a few weird hairs growing on my chin. I wonder how long I can get them to grow before I feel the need to pluck them out?

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One response

4 10 2013
S C

Re: #5– Vaseline works, I hear. I cannot independently verify this.

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