Krystal Fawn is a freelance writer and content creator.

She is currently working on her first book collection of creative nonfiction.

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4 responses

25 01 2012

I read your post about polyamory on Elephant. I am a non-renaissance-fair, non-old, non-anime obsessed, non-snuggle-puddle polyamorous women. A pretty “normal” chick indeed. It was a great article, better then most I have read on the subject. Anyway, wanted to give you a thumbs up.

26 02 2013
Neutral Zone

Read several of your articles, you are very good! I think your writing would fit in great with us at broodsugar.com. Would you be interested in writing with us or sharing your work with us? We get around 2k hits per day and are growing so it would be a good way to gain some exposure for your blog as well. Let us know if you are interested at broodsugar@yahoo.com

18 11 2013
Jillian Singh

Hi Krystal,

I hope this finds you well. My name is Jillian Singh, I am getting my Master’s from Medill this December.

I am working on a research paper about “The Sexes” section and how it works to effectively engage both genders. I would very much appreciate just a few minutes of your time to ask some questions about writing for this section. I could of course send questions beforehand, too.

Feel free to e-mail me!

Thanks so much and have a great day,
Jillian Singh

29 04 2016

Dear Krystal,

I read your articles about polyamory on elephant and wonder how your journey in finding the suitable way of loving continued. I am currently in a state where I am not sure, if a polyamory-arragement would be suitable for me or not. However, I am in a relationship with someone who is strongly appealing to this idea. It was very interesting and helpful to read your articles on the subject, but I feel that the story was not finished (and perhaps will never be? 🙂 ).

For me the concept polyamory seems to root in a nowadays somewhat conflicting perception of loving and receiving love, behind the background of expectations a person might have (as you said security and freedom).

When I speak to polys I have trouble to get to the basic motivations, which eventually would make sense to me, since they differ strongly.
However, I am amazed by the underlying desires that I seek too: true communication and deep loving and acceptance of another person and not merely playing through the monogamous role model and letting someone down after he loses attraction. This seems to be something which could also happen in a poly setting, I believe, even if such a poly setting seems to find special roles for those persons. However, living in mono-settings the last years, I did not try to get rid of my exes. Those can become dear friends, if they want to, on an individual basis.

I am suffering about role model thinking in general. Nearly every time I got engaged into a mono-partnership I (a man) experienced that the women were merely playing through this model and were less interested in getting to know me and to build up a direct relation to my soul. From my side I found myself unable to love deeply someone who is trying to hide from me. They were also not really interested in showing their true face. There was no individual growing into a couple. It was merely a programme which repeatedly did not match my desires. I experienced that most women were preoccupied in being in a relationship than being with me as an individual man.

On the other hand, I have problems to express my doubts about the polyamory model. Polyamory seems to fit better to my believes, but when I play it through, I have the same problems as with the monogamous model. It does not seem to focus on the partner, too. It merely seems to be a solution, a response to cope with problems of monogamous relationships in our current fast-living and mostly superficial society. I do not feel, that poly is a must to build a deep and honest relation to another person, but is designed to overcome the downside (the ugly) of superficial monogamy, as it is lived by the most people in western society. The security aspect seems to be merely distributed to more shoulders. Freedom seems to be the strongest motivation. However, I personally think that both aspects are somewhat illusionary and must not be necessarily persued, if you find the right partner, which in turn ist not right because of what he/she is, but how he/she is living a relationship with you.

True attraction seems not to be born of the picture alone, you see in the “magazine of encounters” (life), but roots in the way such picture affects your “soul” and unlike a picture this affection is bilateral.

Sorry, I find myself unable to form a specific question which would summarize my uneaseness towards a poly arragement in my current life. I fear that I am not willing to ever discuss about jealousy and I fear that I am not willing to get into an arragement which merely is a patch to the problem that most persons have in western society, whether they are poly or mono. It does not help, that I am not a native speaker, too 😀 . However, I think it would help, if you could describe your journey after being in a poly relationship. I wonder what you learned during your time as a single (I had such a time, too) and what you experience right now. I hope that I am not asking too much of you.

Nico, the stranger from Germany 😉

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