Do Not Let Your Wrinkles Ruin All of Our Lives.

26 11 2013

botox

Meet Betty.

Day-Zero-Betty is in deep-thought and it is disgusting. I mean look at that furrowed brow. How gross that her face is making an expression. I can’t even handle it. Luckily for all of us there is a drug out there that can fix her. It’s called Botox and OMG does it work miracles. I mean, imagine what Betty would have to do if Botox wasn’t around to stop her face from moving? She would basically have to hide, like all alone, except for maybe a few cats that were clueless to how gross her wrinkly face actually is (or maybe those felines would be aware but they would put up with it because she feeds them tuna, who knows what cats really think).

In any case, Day-Zero-Betty is absolutely hideous.

Just look at her.

No! Don’t!

If Botox didn’t give her a makeover we would all be puking every time we ran into her on the street. Betty wouldn’t even be able to have a regular job because no one would be able to tolerate the grotesqueness, those deep rivers and crevasses of her facial features that make it look like she was more 3D map than woman.

“Is that the Nile?” People would ask, which would cause her to cry and those deep streams would fill with water.

Sometimes little fish were found swimming there.

Poor Betty.

But, not Poor Betty anymore! Thanks to Botox her face is no longer a breeding ground for perch and tilapia. No, now on Day 7 Betty can blend in with the rest of society and walk around with her blank canvas of a mug, which is a relief. People with wrinkles are evil really, walking around reminding everyone else of our impending doom.

It’s incredibly rude to make people think about death, their own death especially. We need to believe that we can live forever (even if it is a mirage caused by wonder drugs).

Botox is like immortality in a bottle.

Except that it only immortalizes a face. Or only immortalizes the (lack of) expression of one’s face (and like it only does that until the chemical fades out of the body and the face starts deteriorating again. So, technically, not immortal, but that’s just a small detail in the light of a faux youthful glow).

So, yeah, if you suspect there may be a wrinkle or two making its way to your face, stop it! Stop that wrinkle dead in its tracks. You’re only 20? 7? 14? Doesn’t matter. Wrinkles can pop up and ruin your life at ANY time. You cannot be too careful. Try Botox prevention. Just constantly inject your face with chemicals that make it look like you are a robot. There is nothing sexier and more charming than a robot, with their monotone voices and hard cold exteriors, oh yeah!

Do it today because if you don’t, you might look your age and there is nothing worse than that.

botoxkrystal

I too had wrinkles once, but thanks to taking a picture without my brow furrowed, I fixed it all up!