May I Do You in the Butt?

19 05 2012

My life has succumbed to the theoretical approaches of sexuality.

“From what I’ve heard” has become my catch phrase.

Last night I got off of work with plenty of time to go out, but no, instead I watched an educational video on pegging. Just because I was curious.

Pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on and has anal sex with a man.

The word came into popularity after columnist Dan Savage asked his readers to vote on their favorite term all the way back in 2001.

I am not really familiar with anal sex, I mean I know of it, but we’re not related.

Wait.

Anyway. You know what I mean. And I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not a minority here.

The butt can be a scary place, filled with mystery (and farts).

According to everyone who’s done it (professionally) it’s fun and clean (ish) as long as you do everything right, you know, like obvious things such as pooping prior to sex and then taking a shower.

I like to ask men their thoughts on pegging because I almost always get the same reaction and the day when I get a better one is the day I’m going to get married. . . . umm no, not married, it’s the day I’m going to go back to work and buy a strap-on. Those things are expensive and I’m not going to buy one “just in case.” There are too many other things I want, like the Form 2 and a metal locking cock-ring that I can wear as a bracelet.

It’s funny to me how scared guys are of their own butts; like guys have a prostate and if massaged correctly they’ll have even MORE intense orgasms, but because it’s associated with being more feminine (taking it) they choose instead to have just regular boring orgasms. I don’t get it. If you know that something is going to potentially be amazing and it’s as simple as slipping a finger in a particular hole why wouldn’t you do it?

Anyhoo, still contemplating my future. Considering getting a certificate in sex education and then perhaps writing a book about online dating or something regarding sexuality. I could go back to school and become a sexologist! I mean that’s pretty much what I’m doing now except I get paid shit and i don’t have the coolest title. Romance Consultant isn’t bad, but Romance Doctor would be better.

Porn rentals end tomorrow. This is a sad day for me. I still have Pee Wee’s BIG Adventure and Home “Improvement” parodies to watch. In ONE night. Maybe I’ll write commentary throughout so you all can enjoy too.