9 Random Thoughts: New Year, Same Me

11 01 2018

Random Thoughts Are Back, You Are Welcome!

Part of my New Year’s Resolution was to get shit done even if I have a hangover. Now, as I’m getting shit done with a hangover I wonder if I’m possibly not so great at making new year’s resolutions and resolve to make better ones next year, like resolving to take more naps.
Turned on the news and they keep yammering on and on about some lost secret spy missile. It’s like the media doesn’t understand what ‘secret’ mean; sort of like how Trump doesn’t understand what “genius” means.
So, I’ve watched the first two episodes of the new season of Black Mirror. I’ve read a lot of commentary that says this season is dull. I don’t find it dull, but I do find the stories thus far to have things occurring in them that I’ve either read or seen in other forms. For example, some of the elements felt very George Saunder-ish and it made me realize how few satirical television shows exist. That’s something that would be great to see, someone capable of pulling off the humor of satire without making it too dark or too slap-stickish.
There’s been this dead squirrel on the sidewalk along the path that I run for at least a month now. I have witnessed it withering away day after day, as I too slowly shed pound after pound helping to prevent my entire withering away a little while longer, at least that’s the point, right? In any event, the squirrel barely resembles a squirrel anymore whereas I thankfully still resemble myself.

Remember when you were a kid and you’d ask a parent how to spell a word and they’d yell “look it up!” So you’d get the dictionary out but then couldn’t find the word because you didn’t know how to spell it? Yeah. I bet that doesn’t happen anymore because, technology.
Speaking of technology, what I love most about watching Seinfeld now is how they seemed to all survive without cell phones just fine. In fact, a many good episodes were created out of the lack of this connection. It would not / could not ever be like that now.
Yada yada yada.
The best part of a hangover is the following day when you are no longer hungover and you feel more alive than ever before, I can’t wait until tomorrow.
It’s amazing how few thoughts go through your head when you’re specifically trying to think about random thoughts. Just try it. It could be the new way to “meditate,” because the mind goes completely blank. It’s quite amazing actually. I now know what to do when I need to clear my head.


5 Randoms: Death, Depression and Sex

12 06 2013

1. I used to say that the only thing that kept me from killing myself was that there were so many good books left in the world to read. Now I’d like to add that there are so many good albums left in the world to listen to. I suppose if I ever get through them all I can go ahead and knock myself off.

2. I was talking to my guy friend the other day regarding this drunk dude hitting on me at the bar and me declining. He said he’d rather have bad sex than no sex at all. And I had to disagree. I would rather go home eat a burrito and watch some Netflix then have to deal with his jack-rabbit 2-minute fiesta followed by his whiskey-breath snoring bed hogging. Not to mention worrying about babies and STDs. No thanks.

I know. It’s not like we can always determine whether the sex is going to be good or not, but it’s pretty clear to me if the guy is swaying from intoxication he probably will have trouble performing while naked.

3. I’ve been slightly depressed lately. I took a drinking break because I was doing it every night and I was getting too good at it. Like in Arrested Development when Lucille drinks Kitty under the table, yeah, I could go head to head with Lucille good. But I think these last few days I’ve been going through a minor detox. I am really irritated and I am annoyed with everyone, even people that I LOVE. But the best part of all this is that it’s bringing me back to my creative side. More writing, more painting, more obscure thoughts about humanity.

woman with handkerchief

4. The other day I went on a happy hour date and the dude said all sorts of fucked of gender things. Like the only reason men stick around and talk to women is because they want to have sex with them. He “barely was even listening to what I was saying” because he was “picturing me naked.” His Russian woman friend told him that American women don’t know how to “drop the handkerchief.” I’ve been exploring the concepts of Dominance and Submission and honestly I don’t know how two people could even enjoy this type of relationship if there wasn’t an intelligent mutual understanding of the dynamic and what it means to each one and to the couple collectively.

Also, I’m pretty sure he was trying to neg me. But I called him out on it. So then he stepped it up to neg level 4, subtle passive aggressive negs. Got to be careful of the older gentlemen sometimes. They’ve been playing the game a lot longer and know advanced skills.

5. I have two job interviews tonight. If neither grab me I’m running away to South America. I am serious. Honestly, I’d probably rather run away than take either of these jobs, but I will let unfold life’s journey for me as it goes.

To Bed I Said.

23 10 2012

The most important time to have a significant other is when you are sick. Yeah sure, it’s nice to have someone around when you’re healthy and having fun, but it’s not really vital.

And it’s not like it’s vital that sick people have a significant other, all I’m saying is that it would be really helpful and appreciated to have someone around fetching things for me, kissing my forehead, cooking me soup, etc.

It’s a great test. Seeing someone at their worst, deciding if their worst is tolerable or if skedaddling would be a better option. If I were someone else I’d flee this situation immediately. Luckily no one is around to watch me sweat out this fever or stare creepily at me while I sleep for 15 hours straight. And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone (though I personally wouldn’t mind it if someone didn’t mind it.)

I went to the Take Care center at Walgreens because I was afraid I had strep throat as the symptoms just sort of sprang on me in the middle of the night. The medical professionals were actually really chill and I’m glad I went there and not urgent care. I do not have strep, yay me. But I do now own this skeleton earrings. Bonus!

How sick do I look? 

Isn’t it great that “sick” is now used as an adjective to describe something badass? So now, I look both sick as in “I’m dying” and sick as in “how badass do I look with skeleton earrings as I lay there dying.”

Ugh. This really puts a damper on my already lack-of-productivity. When I’m not being productive I’m usually as least doing something fun. Though I don’t know why I’m complaining about sleeping all day in between bouts of netflix. Probably because it hurts to do any of it. Mainly it hurts to talk, which is one reason why I’m yammering on via this blog.

So yeah being sick makes me feel vulnerable and a little lonely. Slightly emotional, though I’m trying to avoid all of that by sleeping it off/out. I think I need to go for a walk. If I don’t I’ll just make myself feel even grosser by being in this bed like 30+ hours.

Anyhoo. Such is the cycle of life. Wellness. Sickness. Alive. Dead. Things that happen in between.