Has feminism gotten too trendy for its own good?

22 01 2018

Thoughts on the latest Women’s March.

Here’s the deal. As a feminist I feel like no matter what I do or what I say, someone somewhere will always be there to tell me how I’m wrong; they will be there to inform me that I don’t do enough for the cause. And you know what, fine.

I am wrong.

I don’t do enough.

The other night I fell asleep on my friend’s couch in Cap Hill, in the morning I awoke to the sounds of shouting and stomping and cowbells. I knew right away it was the Denver Women’s March. I thought, ‘good for them’ as I tried to go back to sleep. The noise continued. I realized the only way to get back to sleep was to make my way home, which meant I had to step into the noise.

People who fight oppression all have different individual approaches, which I appreciate. When we know our own strengths we can utilize those skills to make a more lasting impact. Mad props for the 200,000+ people who showed up at the Women’s Marches across the country.

As someone whose strength lies in critically analyzing situations, people, things, media, and events, I have to admit that for over a year now I’ve been confused as to what the point of the Women’s March actually is.

According to their website:
The mission of Women’s March is to harness the political power of diverse women and their communities to create transformative social change.”


So, the women’s march is an ‘umbrella march’ for people to come and walk around yelling about whatever thing bothers them the most?


Now what though?

When I left my friend’s place I only had to walk one block before being thrown into the thick of it. There were indeed thousands of people; they were energetic, their pink pussy hats perky with the possibilities of change; you could see the excitement on their faces as they screamed words that were only barely understandable; their well-made witty signs glistened waving hello to me in the morning breeze.

Because I’m still trying to understand the point of the Women’s March here’s what I hope happened.

I hope the women’s march left people feeling inspired, motivated, ready to go back at it and work to make the changes we need to live in a more well-balanced culture.

I hope that people learned more about how inequality, discrimination, intersectionality actually works etc. and what we can do to dismantle it.

I hope that the women’s march and everything that surrounds it isn’t just a liberal trend that helps feed capitalism in a different way (anyone else remember the 90s “Girls Rule, Boys Drool’ campaign?). Tired of these old white dudes? Support these women and people of color with your hard-earned money instead (as we still feed the same system that has always been in place).

I hope that we realize that sexual assault/harassment is bigger than Hollywood, that it infiltrates all the way to the lowly bottom of society and is taught in the homes and in the education system either consciously, subconsciously, or both and it will take the collective to overcome, that a new way of understanding has to be written.

I hope that the Women’s March and all the latest feminist discussion isn’t just about getting more Democrats elected into office, but that we all pay closer attention to the viewpoints and action-plans of ALL people running for politics and that those people understand that we are indeed ready for a positive paradigm shift and that we choose those who are willing to do the hard work to make this shift happen.

I hope that we learn how to dismantle the patriarchy in order to have a system in place where all people feel empowered, where all people have agency, and this isn’t just about flipping the roles of power.

I hope that one day there will no longer be marches at 10 in the morning on a Saturday when people could be sleeping in instead because there will be no need for such things.

I hope.

Which, is more than I was doing last year when I was more or less depressed and apathetic about everything.

I escaped the throng of the pink pussy hat crowd and had made it several blocks away by this point; the white dude lit up on the street sign and I started to cross the next block. I made it about halfway when a large red SUV started to turn into me oblivious to the fact that a pedestrian not only has the right away but that a pedestrian happened to be walking across the street at all.

The vehicle’s window was down.

“Hey, yeah! I still exist,” I yelled.

The car stopped inches away from my body, I noticed a basic white bro in the driver’s seat.

I gave him my classic side eye.

“Sorry,” he mouthed.

I’m not sure if I believe him, but I, like the rest of the world, want it to be true.

And My Neighborhood Just Turned Creepy.

13 08 2012

I glanced out my window at just the right time to see a guy who didn’t live in the apartment next door walk in. A few minutes later I heard the neighbor’s dog start barking and the guy walked out and wrote something down on a piece of paper. I found this to be incredibly suspicious so I got online to see exactly how I would report such thing, as he didn’t do anything technically, except trespass I suppose. Anyway, I still haven’t reported it because I got distracted by the sex offender search.

1488 in a five-mile radius.

That’s one thousand four hundred and eighty eight perv right outside my door.

I started looking at them individually and it made me sick.

Then I started rating them, like, oh well this one was 18 when convicted so he probably just had a 16-year-old girlfriend.

Sodomy? Oh, so he likes it up the butt? Whatever.

Oh, that guy fucked an animal in Arkansas, so shocked.

Then I started looking closer at their faces and I noticed that some of them had slight smirks in their pictures. And I was like WHAT ARE THEY SMILING ABOUT!!!!

And I wondered if it was just a instinctual thing to smile because their picture was being taken or if they were seriously demented.

Somebody once warned me never to look at that and now I wish I would have listened.

I mean, that’s almost 300 sex offenders per mile radius. Does this not seem like an incredibly big number? Doesn’t this really highlight our culture’s fucked up concepts of sexuality?

It reminds me of Gayle Rubin’s essay “Thinking Sex” and what our society deems appropriate and not appropriate sexual behavior. This is a huge issue that stems deep without our culture’s construction and would take book upon book to really describe and breakdown, but bottom line, it’s about time to redefine gender roles and power dynamics because 300 creepers a mile doesn’t sit well with me. And that guy creeping into my neighbor’s apartment– also freaks me out. Maybe it’s time to move far far away to a secluded countryside with no neighbors?

Chi Town not Shy Town: Day 1 Recap.

27 07 2012

So, I’m in Chicago, Day 1 Done. I told everyone before I left Denver that I might not come back. And it’s not because I lllovveee Chicago so much, but that Denver is starting to just not do it for me. I feel like I’m on the periphery of some mega-drama there and at any moment I could get pulled all the way in. Since I left theater four + years ago I’ve been attempting to live a drama-free existence (minus my brief obsession with Gossip Girl). So yeah. Here I am in the big(er) city enjoying my blend-in with humanity. Being reacquainted with what I thought I missed I’ve realized some of those longings are no longer true–and some are just as strong.

Did I Miss ____ True or False.

The Train= True. 

It’s weird how I can get right back on public transportation and feel the same exact feelings of annoyance, dread, impatience, and joy as I get to my final destination. The red line hasn’t changed a bit. Still full of crazies and very very tense people. Take last night for example. We had to switch from the brown to the red for one stop. We get on the train and this woman in a wheel chair is trying to get off the train but no one will assist her. So she’s punching the handicap button over and over and yelling at people to hold the door for her (in a polite-type of yelling) and one heroic guy runs all the way down to the conductor just to tell him she needs help. It was a team effort for sure. Community building in the city.

Kit Kat Lounge= False. 

Umm. This used to be my favorite place to go, but I think in two years my palate has changed. I won’t blame it on the veganism but the martinis that I used to love now taste like I’m drinking a glass of fruit flavored sugar (which, technically, I am). I guess I’m more a beer girl now.

Downtown = True/False. 

We went to the Signature Lounge on the 96th floor of the Hancock Building. Spectacular view. I miss the architecture, the vibrance, the constant pulsations of a large city–all of that is true. I do not miss the tourists who have no concept of sidewalk walking. I will never ever ever miss that.

(Giant spiders attacking the city!) 

My Friends = True.

Geez. What kind of person do you think I am? I don’t call them “friends” for nothing. Sometimes I just want to take my favorite people and put us all on an island somewhere. . . but we’d probably all change and end up hating each other. Which is why we live and work and play where we do, because it makes us who we are and if we weren’t there we’d be different and we maybe wouldn’t like each other anymore. Or maybe certain people are just destined to enjoy each other’s company more than other peoples. Like there are certain people who, no matter when you meet them in your life, they will automatically connect with you and then there are others who you meet at a particular time in your life over particular circumstances–a class, a game, work etc. and though you don’t necessarily have that much in common something clicks and you end up being friends for life. Or at least friends for a long time.

These are all important friend concepts to ponder before I don’t go back to Denver.

(Okay, fine, I’ll go back, don’t cry Colorado.)

(liquid candy) 

5 Randoms: My Walk is as Cheap as my Heels.

25 07 2012

1) Along with my regular workout, which is basically just running around the park followed by some sit-ups and push-ups, I have now incorporated not only KEGEL BALLs to strength my PC muscles (more, stronger, better orgasms + no pee leaking in old age) I’ve also started wearing high heels for like 20 minutes every day. High heels are hard. Walking anywhere in them is my biggest issue considering I have one of the fastest walks on the planet and when I add heels it cuts my time in half. Sad. Why am I concerned with heels?

I’m not necessarily concerned with them. But sometimes my work sells them for really cheap and I feel compelled to buy them, but there really is no point on owning them if I’m not going to wear them.

I got these purple heels for under five dollars. Aren’t they cute?

2.) Not too many super weird things have happened at work lately. Though the other day this guy asked me if we sold the nuva-ring. There was a lesbian couple standing at the counter checking out and I sort of looked at them like, “is this guy serious?” then turned to him and said, “the nuva-ring, like the birth control device? Like the thing you wear for three weeks full of hormones that you need a prescription for?”

He was like, “uugghh yeah, I think that’s what it’s called.”

Do we look like Planned Parenthood? Do any of us look like medical professionals? No dude. No.

3) July has been a lot like Manless May without the catch phrase.

4) I leave for Chicago very early tomorrow morning. I’m mostly excited to see all my lovely Chicago friends + ride the el + dip in the lake + drink martinis at the kit kat + be in a city where not EVERYONE knows my name. Seriously, Denver, you’re too small.

5) Yes, people, I’m thinking about moving out of here; if you have any suggestions, I’m open.

5 Random Thoughts: Denver, Music, Strippers.

28 04 2012

1. I love that I’ve only been in Denver a little over 5 months and I can walk down the street and run into multiple people I know. And not only that, but I can randomly hear my friend’s band in the middle of the afternoon even though I’ve been so out of the loop I didn’t even know they were playing. Serendipity or just small town city life?

2. I was at this record store and I had a Ghost World flashback, remember that scene where they go into the porn store and Thora Birch’s character yells, “look at all the creeps!” that’s exactly what I was thinking while all these doodes fingered records. The ritual of looking for music is just as important as the music itself–which is the same for people who rent/buy pornographic films, yeah you can download all the porn or music that you want, but it’s not the same as finding a rare gem amongst the coals.

3. While being a creep at the record store I bought one of Peaches albums and was super excited to open it and discover that the record was PINK instead of the usual black. Also, I’m considering having a Peaches & Cream theme party where we only play Peaches and Cream. And only drink peach flavored beverages and eat creamy foods (that are vegan of course–yes, that exists fools). And people can only wear those two colors–or at least close shades.

4. Speaking of Peaches would it be bad for me to admit that “fuck the pain away” has, at some point in the last few months, been a theme song of mine? That’s why I’m going for a Man-less May. As close to celibacy as I can get. Can’t give up the Tango. Can give up “Man-Eater” as my other theme song though.

5. I made a facebook comment about how I am starting to have a problem with strippers. The problem is with their attitude; they’re rude, they’re often high, and with that high they’re usually stupid. A combination that creates major disturbances in my line of work. Particularly when they come in to the store and feel the need to try everything on–every pair of shoes, every wig, every outfit and then leave it all thrown about the place like it’s their bedroom and their mommy’s going to come clean up after them. Perhaps because they work in an industry where they’re both idealized and objectified they feel they are entitled to do whatever they want because they’re told their gorgeous and amazing so often that they believe it. And with the belief they feel they can get away with anything. They think it’s okay to act that way because they’re “spending money.” But just like with their line of work I am sure they have boundaries in which money can only get someone so far. Since I’m not really getting much of the money that they’re dropping I’d actually prefer it if they’d stop acting like brats and start respecting other people in the service industry.

In regards to their chosen profession—I know this draws a line of contention between feminists–but until the entire system changes, I understand why they do it. I understand it. Though I’d personally not choose it myself and I believe there are many MANY problems with it–which perhaps I’ll get into on another day when they piss me off again.

I’m sure it will be soon.

Go Green Or Die Young(ish).

10 03 2012

I’m thinking about going raw vegan…not for life but for like a detox, get-back-to-healthy thing. Anyway. I’m starting slowly, because I still like warm foods. But, I also lloovvveee fruits and vegetables and nuts so I don’t think it would be THAT weird to do it for a month or two.

Anyway. I talk about it here:

I went to Healthy Blender Recipes for the smoothie.

Though I changed the recipe, which is totally allowed in raw vegan land.

GreenTime Smoothie

4 romaine lettuce leaves

2 cups pineapple

1 mango

grated ginger

1 cup filtered water

pinch of salt

(I then added ice because I wanted it colder)

It’s actually pretty tasty AND healthy, can’t beat that.

I wish I owned a freaking Vitamix… those things cost as much as a old used car.

5 Random (almost positive) Thoughts: Goths, Wheelchairs, Birthdays, Sex.

16 02 2012

(Ok, no sex, I just wanted you to click on it.)


Last night was amazing. People here in Denver are so great. We had a Satan’s Black Hearts Anti-Valentine’s Day party and everyone got into it. We painted our faces and we growled. We  growled like every word we said ALL night long. I want to go back and do it ALL over again! And we sang the shot’s song heavy metal style. It was beautiful. Oh. My. Goth.

1 Year Contracts

This morning over coffee/tea my friend, who crashed here last night (lots of people crashed here last night) and I were talking about relationships. And, we, of course, got into the discussion over polyamory/monogamy etc. and he mentioned how he was reading about this guy who kept having a series of 3-year-long relationships with women. Prior to the relationship even starting he’d always point out that no matter how well they liked/loved each other, no matter how stellar they were together, after 3 years, it would end. When it did, some of the women were upset, most were accepting and knew it was coming. The best part–they always stayed friends after the “break-up.”

Anyway. My friend said that he’d want to do that with someone but only make it a year. So you get to spend every season together. You get to make the most of it because there will be no other spring, winter, fall, summer to be together ever again.

And I LOVE this idea.

A one-year-love-contract.

My roommate said she didn’t understand why it would be necessary, why you couldn’t just be together and see where you ended up. But I think it makes total sense. The imminent end makes the relationship spark and the actual knowing of the end makes it at least slightly easier to handle when it does in fact end.

I am of course aware that this is not as cut and dry and simple as it seems. But I seriously want to give this a try with someone. I am currently taking applications.


What a fantastic cast! I forgot how much I love that movie. Alec Baldwin looks SO much different it freaks me out. I love the surrealism of it. The morbidness is also fascinating. And of course, the clothing. Can’t beat Winona Ryders hats.

Wheelchair Guy

Okay. So. Every day I sit at my computer and I try to write etc. and every day I see this guy in an electric wheelchair zoom by. He is by far my favorite character. Because he doesn’t just zoom by like one time as if he just got off work and is zooming home. He zooms around like zooming is his work. I have several wheelchair guy stories but today may top it. Today he was attempting to zoom but then, he just stopped. In the middle of the alley. And could zoom no longer. At first I couldn’t figure out if he was just letting his wheelchair take a breather or if he was indeed stuck in the alley. So, like any good spy I just sat by the window and stared at him. For like 10 minutes, he just sat there and I just sat there staring at him sitting there. Then this bright yellow VW bug tried to turn into the alley and I realized he was indeed in capable of moving. The bug and the wheelchair guy just stared at each other for like 2o seconds until someone waiting at the bus stop ran over and pushed the wheelchair guy out of the alley way.

He zoomed off.

But then.

He got stuck again! 

Right in the middle of the sidewalk. It was unbelievable. The zooming wheelchair guy was having a terrible terrible day.

Which should be a sign to the Denver street cleaning team that they need to get their shit together. Maybe instead of writing about in the blog I should write them a letter instead.

Perhaps I will.

But I seriously couldn’t help but find the whole scene delightfully and disturbingly entertaining. I truly hope he also has a pretty good sense of humor because though that would be incredibly frustrating and if it happened to me like that I would probably want to kill myself he seems to still power-through every day, he gets out and he deals with it and that’s fucking awesome. He gets out way more than I do. I should probably learn a lesson from him.

I do hope that we in fact one day meet and converse.


That is how old I am turning. Yes, it is basically my birthday. And it’s weird and I don’t know really what to think about it. Of course, my mom has requested for my birthday that I become more positive. Which, since she was the one who had to do all the work in this situation of my being born and all, I suppose it’s the least I could do. As a sort of courtesy for her. So yeah to getting older, learning lessons, becoming wiser like an owl or something. I am also not too old for presents if you’d like to send some my way ❤

(this is happening at midnight stay tuned for vlog)

5 Random Thoughts: More Dates, Denver v. Boulder and Learning New Languages.

1 02 2012


I really can’t be that wonderful on a date. I wonder if all these guys I’ve gone on dates with recently are really as out of the dating-loop as I am and just don’t notice how bad I am at it. I always end up talking about things they always say not to talk about, politics, exes, religion. And I stare at them with an intense stare, like, “why are you telling me that story right now.” Also, I think the dates take dating much more seriously than me. Like they’re nervous about it. I feel I should be more upfront, within the first 10 minutes perhaps, about what I’m looking for–so they know they shouldn’t be nervous because I don’t want a boyfriend. I just want to have fun. Meet new people. Not take life so seriously. I mean, it does say that on my profile, but many of them just look at the pics (I mean, they’re good pics so I understand.) Also. I told my roommate yesterday, like I tell her pretty much every time before I go meet someone new, that I”m done after this one. But, for the month of February, since it’s my birthday month and all, I’m going to attempt to focus more of that time on me. And not date any one new. (This does not mean I can’t go out with people I’ve already gone out with.)


I’m back to learning Spanish again. It so much sexier than English. I love rolling my rrrrrrr’s. I think I’m better at pronouncing words I’ve never heard before as opposed to words that are similar to English. I’m guessing this is common since reverting to what one knows seems easier than trying to re-prounce an old word in a new way. I want to reward myself in some way, with a trip to South America or Spain or Mexico if I learn it well enough, but that’s still so far in the future I can’t even fathom. Plus, not having a job puts a damper on traveling, though having a job also puts a damper on traveling. Perhaps I should just do it now while I’m unemployed and pay it back later? I’ve met several people recently who have done this very thing and though they raked up plenty of debt at the time, they have already paid it all back. Anyone else unemployed want to jump on the travel wagon with me? I’m thinking Brazil. Or Chili. Or some European back-packing adventure. (Seriously, message me if you’re interested.) 


What I like most about Denver compared to Boulder is that the people here are much more balanced. For example, the other day I saw a woman walking down the street carrying a yoga mat AND a pie. That’s right, she knows what’s up. Exercise but enjoy some pastries too!


Speaking of the Big B, I’m actually going to be there tomorrow AND Friday. And though it is Boulder, I’m actually kind of excited about it. Thursday, it’s gin & gender day. A friend and I are going to tour the gin distillery and drink martinis then go to a radical deconstruction discussion about gender and sex roles, wohoo!  Friday Dr. Dog with another friend, I won tickets so that makes it extra special (and much cheaper). Maybe I’ll even go on a hike (and then follow said hike with beer drinking, because balance is what it’s all about–I learned that after moving out of Boulder to Denver–perhaps I can teach the locals something.)


I’ve been watching Sister Wives. I’d totally be down for that if I could have lovers on the side. But. That’s not how it works. Also–there are way too many children running around. Gross. I don’t know. I mean it obviously points out that in other types of relationship dynamics  there still exists struggles, issues, pain, heart-break, but also love, caring, commitment, loyalty. I personally think that polygamy is too closely tied with the patriarchy and I’m not interested in either of those things, but if other people are into it, then they should be able to multiply their love–not divide it.