A Different Kind of Magic Bus.

6 09 2013

You know those dreams people have where they’re falling off of a cliff or a building or a ledge and it shakes them awake? Have you ever not woken up?

The other night I dreamt that I was on this bus going through one of the most majestic mountainous scenery I have ever witnessed it was like the Garden of the Gods and Roxborough State Park and Rocky Mountain National Park had merged together in my mind. And I was on top of one of the mountains. In a bus of all places. We drove all around looking at the view, and then we started to descend. And when I say descend I mean the bus basically drove off the mountain. And we were flying.

roxborough state park

I know that I stopped breathing.

I thought to myself, if this is the way I die, at least I have the best final view possible.

Then I let go.

I realized I wasn’t the driver of the bus. I had to trust the driver would get us to safe ground and in the meantime I could just enjoy the art of soaring through the sky. I mean no other places but the inside of a dream could really be that fantastical.

It is interesting to dive in deeper to dream interpretation. If at first I was falling and then I was flying it appears that at least in my subconscious dream state I was able to overcome my anxieties and challenges and find joy and liberation.

What that really says to me is that I need to quit falling in my every day and start flying instead. Or in another words, turn my negativity inside out and find a way to prevail over my challenges instead of letting my challenges eat me alive.

And This Little Piggy Went To Bed.

2 11 2012

In my dreams last night my car got blown up. I wasn’t there to see it. I came back to the parking lot and all that was left of my car were my seats. They had stolen the car and lit it on fire somewhere along the interstate. A big bellied country folk tried to give me his pig and a hundred dollar bill because he felt so bad about what happened. I really wanted to take the pig because I knew someone was going to kill and eat it and I wanted it as a pet. It liked being scratched behind the ears. But I didn’t have room in my apartment for it.

I decided to look up what having a pig in a dream means. It was not good news.

To see a pig in your dream symbolizes dirtiness, greediness, stubbornness or selfishness. Alternatively, the pig may represent gluttony, opulence and overindulgence. Perhaps it refers to someone who is dirty or someone who is chauvinistic.

If you like pigs and think that pigs are cute, then your dream about a fat dirty pig represents your misconceptions about certain things. What you believe and what is reality may be two different things.  This pig may be analogous to a relationship or a man in your life. You think that the pig will be a certain way, but in actuality reality is not at all what you had imagined.

To see a pig being cooked alive in your dream suggests that you are undergoing a drastic transformation. You are ready to rid yourself of the negativity surrounding your life.

The info on the car situation wasn’t much better.

So, subconsciously it appears I am not going down a very good path or maybe I don’t believe I’m going down a good path, but I actually am–if I’m having misconceptions about my reality that is. Or maybe it just meant every guy I’ve met recently is really awesome, instead of a bunch of fucktards. And I should give them a chance. Hahahahaha. (Okay they haven’t ALL been fucktards, but that’s for another blog.)

My friend told me I need to find the pattern that makes me pick all these non-winners in my life, and once I figure out the pattern I can figure out how to stop it!

So… this is going to take some work.

Let me know if you know what my pattern is and then I won’t actually have to do any of the thinking.



Maybe I’ll take a nap and see if any more truths will be revealed.

5 Random Thoughts: Cock Blocked by Cocks Blocked.

27 03 2012

1. Hot Hot Hot

So I was looking through craigslist job postings and I came across an ad for bikini barista. I do not understand. Why does anyone need bikinis with their coffee? And what woman would want to be nearly nude serving scalding hot beverages every day? Sounds like disaster waiting to happen. Do dudes really need boobs so early in the morning? Want a boner on your way to work? Sure, why not, boners go great with hazelnut lattes. I’m going to open a bar where guys have to stir ladies drinks with their dicks (with condoms on of course) because you know, like, it would be a huge success. Ugh. Wait. Not.

2. Zzzzzz

Speaking of snakes. Last night I had another weird dream. This time a certain ex “accidentally” let this incredibly huge snake out of its cage and the snake attempted to attack me with its fanged mouth. I caught said snake and held it by its head so it couldn’t poison me, but it kept writhing and spazing and squirming. The craziest thing was that it was rainbow colored and also like a hybrid cobra/viper because along with trying to bite me it also attempt to wrap its body around my arm. The ex just kept running around trying to find something to kill it with, he never found anything, then I woke up.  (So many things to analyze here!)

3. Men Suck but it’s because of Women, duh

A facebook friend posted this article, 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women. Most of it I agreed with, but by the end I felt that the entire thesis was: men hate women because women actually have more power than men because men can only think about sex. And that’s why men do EVERYTHING because they’re trying to impress women and get laid. I feel that the article, in a way, was trying to make men’s domination excusable. And I can’t agree with that. I also don’t believe all that men think about is sex and everything they do– learn guitar, become CEOs, play sports, etc– is related entirely to impressing the opposite sex. That makes men seem to lack complexity and I don’t that that’s a fair interpretation. Sure, the media/society helps constructs certain ideals and social behaviors, but that same media is generally run by men, so it’s really their fault these ideas are still so entrenched in our society. Perhaps it’s not about impressing women so much as staying in power and allowing women to stay sex object trophies. Why anyone would want that, I have no idea.

4. Too Shy or Maybe I’m Not Fly

It’s sort of a weird transition because it actually goes against everything that article was about, but I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now. In truth, I’ve been analyzing it since becoming newly again single after 5.5 years. Perhaps I’m going to the wrong places and meeting the wrong dudes but I feel every guy I’ve met I’ve had to initiate everything: conversation, phone number, dates, sexy time etc. Maybe it does relate to the #1 in the article when it talks about guys feeling that they’re told that they’re “owed a hot girl.” Everyone wants everyone to do all of the work; to be the assertor, to shower the other with compliments and prove that the other is desirable. This is a huge problem. Maybe our generation was raised with too much entitlement? But I’m finding it tiring to be the one who puts effort into asserting my likeness for another with very little reciprocation. Shared effort would be much appreciated. I don’t know, maybe it’s just that I’m not like-able enough.

(I probably just need this hat)

5. Oh, Oh, She’s Crafty

Having a job is weird. When I have days off now a part of me still feels guilty for not doing much, even though I’m at least now making a little bit of money.

When I have a day off I have to work at being content with how I spend that time and not stress that I didn’t get something done.

Perhaps this is a common problem? Many of us want to accomplish so many different things that when they’re not done by a certain day we feel guilty about it, which in turn can take even longer to get done because we allow the stress to take more of our time than it should. I don’t know. It’s just a theory. I have a billion different things I’m working on right now, but I’m just going to work on them as I feel like it and when they’re complete, they’re complete.

Omens. Dreams. The. Future.

19 03 2012

The other night I had two really strange dreams. In the first one I dove into a pond and when I tried to walk out the shallow end turtles kept suctioning onto my leg. In the second I was at some overly crowded sporting event when an airplane crashed into the scoreboard blowing up and shooting out people.

I, of course, had to look up the meanings.

According to dreammoods.com:

To see a turtle in your dream symbolizes wisdom, faithfulness, longevity, and loyalty. It also suggests that you need to take it slow in some situation or relationship in your life. With time and patience, you will make steady progress. Alternatively, a turtle indicates that you are sheltering yourself from the realities of life. You are putting forth a hard exterior and not letting others in. As a result, you are feeling withdrawn.

To dream that you are being chased by a turtle indicates that you are hiding behind a facade, instead of confronting the things that are bothering you.


“To dream that a plane crashes signifies that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. You are in danger of having those goals come crashing down. Alternatively, the crashing airplane represents your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt. You do not believe in your own ability to achieve those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.”

Since the turtles were attaching to me more than chasing me does that mean my facade is crumbling? Does it mean that my hard exterior is getting softer, not by my own choosing but by my surroundings? Could it mean that whatever I am avoiding with naturally becoming unavoidable very soon? I am sure there are a number of things I’m avoiding but those are things I am not even consciously aware of right now because I’m so good at avoiding them.

And the plane crash. If that isn’t a depressing interpretation I don’t know what is. I’m losing confidence in my goals aka my dreams are dying. My day dreams anyway. Does this mean Jake Gyllenhaal and I are never going to hook up? No dreams, don’t die!!!

I guess it’s two big signs that it’s about time I really figure out my life. Do people ever actually figure out their lives?

Slowly and surely.