10 Randoms: Goth Drunk Punched Love Hate Celebrate.

27 08 2012

1.) Last night we witnessed the neighbors walking into their apartment with a new puppy. At the time, I was like “oh my goodness, how adorable”. Today, with the neighbors gone and the puppy left alone I am thinking the exact opposite. So excited to hear this bitch yelp and whine every morning for the next few months.

2.) I almost saw a guy punch another guy while they were waiting for the bus. They were arguing very loudly. I bet that’s going to be an awesome bus ride for everyone.

3.) There are several guys that I used to have mega-crushes on who are now engaged. Good for them for finding love. Good to know someone still believes in it.

4.) I’ve been on a big Bush kick lately. I think this is weird. I even went to a record store trying to find on of their albums, but to no avail.

(I couldn’t find a real video for this song, weird.)

5.) I’m also digging the goth bars more and more. Maybe because the last time I went some guy hit my ass with his paddle… and I’m turning into a masochist.

6.) And maybe a bit of a sadist.

Pain for everyone!

7.) I’ve started working on a new writing project, sort of like a creative-nonfiction fiction sitcom based off of my daily life at the sex toy store. I think it could be “the one.”

8.) Last night we had a “mini-dinner party,” I had forgotten how much I enjoy cooking. It’s therapeutic, I get to cut vegetables with a knife, pound garlic down with my thumbs, smash and grind. It’s a good time. Plus the eating is always nice. I’ve decided I need to do it more. Like at least once a week. The more the merrier. Maybe. Unless you’re an asshole.

(Aren’t you proud of me for putting people in the picture of the food! Falafel for everyone!!!)

9.) Today’s tarot card reading: Ten of Coins and Six of Wands. It appears that I will be having a prosperous day. Yay! Success!

10.)  My friend and I were discussing the theoretical implications of “the friend zone.” He claimed that once you’re in it, it’s almost impossible to get out. And I’ve been thinking about that for awhile and I’m not exactly sure I believe it. Because, I have had people who have grown on me over time; people I initially only looked at as friends but then suddenly, often times out of nowhere, I realized that I liked that person more. So yes, when you’re in “the friend zone” it may take longer, but it can indeed happen. If that’s what you really want. But usually there is a reason they were only friends to begin with. . . (again that’s from someone who is pretty fatalistic/realistic/nihilistic/ about love).

Oh. My. Goth.

20 07 2012

So, I guess this is the summer of trying new things. Maybe my entire life should just be about trying new things. Seems like a more adventurous sense of existence than just staying in the same scene doing the same shit all the time. Anyway. I went to my first ever GOTH BAR the other night when I got off of work. I wasn’t planning to go to a GOTH BAR, but was convinced and so it happened. I obviously didn’t fit in, but luckily I had worn a black shirt that day so at least there was a partial blend.

I’m learning how to fit in everywhere without fitting in anywhere.

I am a floater. I have no identity. Or my identity rests in the ability to identify with all people on some level.

Not just a reader of books but a reader of people. Is that weird?

I can see how some people might be intimidated by the Goth community, with their pale pale skin, they’re dark dark makeup, the platforms, the leather, the ethereal dancing, but that’s all outward appearance. Just like any other group these people want a place they belong, a place of acceptance, a place of relate-ability. And through they’re appearance they’re able to find other likeminded souls easier.

Though it’s not my style I had a great time. Perhaps because I currently don’t have much style I find intrigue in people who do.

Okay. It’s not that I don’t have style, but I feel like I’m exploring all these new places in an attempt to figure out what I do and do not like in regards to representing myself. I’m free to do whatever I want, be whoever I want, go wherever I want—and sometimes, even though this is an amazing time it my life, it can be overwhelming. (There are indeed many styles, places, things out there).

So, I’m going to be chill. I’m going to go out there and have adventures. I’m going to explore places I have never been, be around people I never thought I’d get along with, and I’m going to see where it leads.

Just the other day I swapped spit with the best kisser of my life (this is a major feat as I’ve kissed many people) and he isn’t really the type of guy I generally go for. Look what happens when one tries new things. Magic! Surprises! Entertainment!

The biggest question now is, what do I do next?