Face Plant.

29 01 2012

Last night I was at this art opening, and like any good art opening there was free beer. The free beer led to lots of hipsters sticking around drinking–because you know, it was free and they’re all artists and don’t make any money. Anyway, the night suddenly went from blah blah to ha ha when this tall homeless crackhead broad waltzed through the door. It really just takes one crackhead to liven the mood.

Anyway, he came over to our group and started mumbling; I really can’t recall one sentence he said that made any sense. But he stood there and he kept talking. Then I pulled the best Jenna Marbles “How to Avoid Talking to People You Don’t Want to Talk to ” face. But better because I had a prop.

I had finished my beer and was getting really bored by this guy, so I took the plastic cup and sucked it to my face. Then, I looked up at him with crazy eyes and shook what was then my two empty jazz hands all around.

He laughed.

Then he leaned over and hugged me, said, “you’re funny” and walked away.


And in my head I wasn’t even thinking I was doing the Jenna Marbles no-talk face, but I guess subconsciously I was.

In any event. My friend and I cracked up about it for like 15 minutes. Then I got another beer. And the ha ha went back to blah blah. Until we left the gallery for music.

Will play that plastic-cup-face card in the future for sure.

Drunk Ambition.

21 01 2012

Does anyone else get this strange sort of over-enthusisam about over-achieving after drinking too many beers?

For example, last night I was at the Post Pony Palace watching youtube videos with some badass people and the more I drank the more I was like, “I can totally do this shit. Why am I not ┬ámaking youtube videos?”

More drinks.

“Fuck it… tomorrow. Making youtube video.”

Obviously it’s “tomorrow” and I’m not making a video. But I should be.

Because I’m not doing any thing else. And some acts should be followed less than others.

Take ICP for instance.

Two white dudes some how created this weird cult following by making misogynist murderous drug-laced rap songs.

They make tons of money and have people tattoo their stupid clown faces on their bodies.

Surely I can compete with this?

Or take Earl Sweatshirt.

Again. Rapping. Drug use. Blood. Drama.

Tons of online followers. A Free-Earl campaign. The story goes that he got shipped away to boarding school because of the rampant drug-use in his videos and now his legal guardian will not allow his new music to be released. No one is certain if he’ll even come-back and re-join the group (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All). This is perhaps one of the greatest publicity stunts of record-deal history…(yet to be determined). But it all started by making low-quality-production youtube videos.

Speaking of quality.

My favorite… Jenna Marbles.

Simple concept. Weekly social commentary videos that are hilarious because they’re rooted in truth and point out the ridiculousness of those truths.

This is something I could do.

But she does it.

So I need to find my own shtick!

I’m thinking some sort of Jenna Marbles/ Garfunkel & Oats combo but with costumes and “found” instruments.

I am telling you all right now that this is really going to happen. I’m going to work on the concept this week. And have the first one to you all by next Saturday.



Because I should be doing something. And not just drinking and thinking “I could do that”– because I can do it–and I will do it.

(Maybe I’ll just film myself drinking? I know I could accomplish that…)