The Day The Universe and I Have a Little Heart to Heart

17 01 2018

Over the weekend I was over at this lawyer’s apartment and I was intoxicated. I had met him for dinner a week prior, we had matched on Tinder months ago, we hadn’t not hit it off, though, we barely knew each other. I was there trying to get to know him. Let’s just say that I had somehow consumed a rare exotic mushroom and his bathroom wall became something more interesting to look at than pretty much anything else in his apartment, including him.


The thing is, if you slow down and pay attention, the universe will start communicating with you. In fact, the universe is always trying to communicate, it’s just most of the time we’re too busy to pay attention and we miss the signs.

In any event, we were watching music videos on Youtube from the 2000s. I had become restless. I had become slightly paranoid in that I no longer wanted to be there. I wanted to be with my friends. I wanted to be in bed. I wanted to be in bed with my friend who lived two blocks down the street, but I couldn’t be because it was 2 in the morning and I knew he was asleep and that his phone was off. I wanted to be pretty much anywhere else and I definitely didn’t want to be in my head anymore.

The Tracy Chapman song “Fast Car,” came on. The lyrics go something like,

“You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way…”

And it seemingly kept repeating those lines, “leave tonight or live and die this way.”

I started yelling back at the TV (in my head, not out loud). I was like, “Tracy, yo, I totally get what you’re trying to say, but if I leave tonight in my fast car I am more likely to die THAT WAY.” She nodded like she understood and the song ended.

I thought the universe was done talking to me, and yet it had only just begun.
To really drive the issue home, “A Simple Man,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd came on next. I looked into the reflection of the window, as I did I saw the man I was hanging out with, he was eating and in his intoxicated state dropped his food on the floor. He seemed rather goofy in that moment. Bumbling. Derpy. I knew I couldn’t be with him forever. In fact, I didn’t know if I wanted to really be with him for another minute. The song continued, basically informing me that if I stayed with this derpy guy I would have a calm, simple, (potentially beautiful) life. I contemplated the message because I was just sitting there doing nothing anyway.

It seemed too serene, it seemed such a dull way to go. Combined with Tracy’s message from earlier, I would have a simple life and then I would die that way.

No, I said. That is not what I want.

In any event, I freaked out.

First I made him change the music. We listened to Jim Croce. We put on “Time in a Bottle,” which I have decided is officially my favorite song. He tried to dance with me. I was like, I CAN’T! Then, I went and hid in his bedroom and pretended to sleep.

While I was in there, my brain unfolded many things about time, the universe, infinity, the meaning of life etc.

Here’s what came to me.

Breath is a drug more powerful than any other drug. We keep coming back for it,
not just moment after moment, but through infinite time and space.

The meaning is indeed 42 (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy).

Life is a fart in the wind.. aka a joke.. aka a long-ass joke. If you’re not laughing, you don’t get the punchline.

There is no need to waste moments on derps, if you do, so be it, but it’s better to allow people to come into your folds that make you want to sing “Time in a Bottle.” to them and truly mean it.

“I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with”

It doesn’t matter if you die. We die every day when we go to sleep. We die every time we take a breath. The end is never the end, it’s only the beginning to something else. And yes, we can indeed choose who we want to go through time with both here and later, but there’s no need to be so serious about it all. The punchline is always the same, it’s the jokes along the way that make the difference.