5 Random Thoughts: Books, Sex, Sexy Books.

27 04 2012

1.) Reading a good book makes me want to do better things with my life. I don’t know what it is, if it’s the deep development of characters flaws exposed that helps me feel more connected or the philosophical debates on our relationships with each other/universal purpose/existence etc. but for some reason all I want to do is healthy stuff–workout, eat well, read. Maybe I’m just maturing and it happens to be while I’m reading this particular book. I’ll never know!

2.) All these middle aged women are reading 50 Shades of Grey. I guess there are a lot of different scenes involving sex toys which have brought them in droves to our store. It’s nice in a way because I am selling many more upscale toys. Also, I feel like it could be helping women become more sexually open–at least I hope it is. I put a hold on the book at the library–565 people are before me. By the time I get to it the fad will probably be over.

3.) Kegel balls are all the rage. So I bought this Je Joue set from work. Kegel balls are designed to help strengthen the PC muscles which leads to better orgasms and better urinary control. They’re really good for all women to use, though women who have given birth would probably find them the most beneficial. I figured, it can’t hurt to have a tighter stronger nether region so I’ve decided to to do kegel exercises every day for a month. The set I bought comes with three–a beginner one that’s bigger and lighter, a mid-range one that has two smaller balls and is slightly heavier weighted and then finally a smaller  two baller that’s actually quite heavy for the advanced kegeler. I have yet to try the third one, though I think I can do it just fine consider the other two have not been a problem. I’ll let you all know at the end of next month if I notice any changes.

4.) Well, since sexuality is a major theme in my life I guess I will talk about the boring biology of it for a moment. As a few of you know, I haven’t had my period for months now. I’d just like to inform you all that I’M NOT PREGNANT!!! Nor do I have anything else medically wrong that they could find. My body is just weird. I’ll have to channel it. Or drink some good period-inducing herbal tea. Recommendations are welcome.

5. I mainly am talking about it because I’ve been in a bad mood lately and I can’t shake it. I’m wondering if it might be time. Or close to it. If not, then I blame it on boys. It’s all their fault. And I’m giving them up. Again. I swear. At least for a month while I work on my kegel exercises. And my attitude.

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Why I’m Not Having Sex (with you).

28 03 2012

I just got an email from Health.com that read, “10 Reasons Why You’re Not Having Sex” and I’d just like to point out that they are wrong. Those are not the 10 reasons why I’m not having sex.

These are the 10 reasons I’m not having sex.

1.) I am alone.

Currently I am living the single life. I know this doesn’t usually stop people, but lately I haven’t really felt like giving it up to randoms.

2.) My bed is too comfortable.

I sleep diagonally and I really don’t want anyone to ruin that for me.

3.) My lack of meds is turning me into a crazy person.

I went off birth control at the beginning of October and it’s turned me a little nutty. Mood swings, up and down desires, zits, emotional roller-coasters, fun times such as that. I’m glad that I’m getting it out of my system but since my period isn’t regular yet, I don’t want to add any one else to my potential “baby-daddy” list right now.

4.) My not-very-busy life-style. 

I am boring. The end.

5.) I am too sexy.

The article talked about body-image issues and you know what, I’m tired of that excuse. We all have our hang-ups. There are things I don’t like about my body (depending on the lighting) but I accept my body and I try to take care of it–and if that’s not good enough for someone else than they don’t deserve to enjoy it.

6.) I’m addicted to my vibrator! 

Well, not yet, because I just got it last night. But I could be very soon and I’m okay with that. It’s safer, more reliable, we don’t have to talk about anything, I can change the speed and pulsation at a click of a button, it fits in a drawer, it’s a one-time purchase that will last me for years without any arguments. So yeah, addicted–no, but I don’t see the problem with it being my source of orgasm as opposed to some stranger I could pick up at a bar (and then not even get off with).

7.) I smell.

Maybe people just aren’t attracted to my pheremones or my hairy armpits.

8.) I’m a cyborg!

Part of the problem is that I spend too much time online and not enough time in the real world. Sure, I have plenty of online dating messages, but none of them ever seem to pan out, even after we meet. Perhaps online dating creates too much pressure, or it just feels forced, or the connection is just never there.

9. Crushed-Out.

I can’t decide if I have a crush on this one particular person or if I actually do not. If I do then I’m going about it all wrong. If I don’t than it’s all fine and dandy. I don’t know if this is necessarily preventing me from having sex, but it’s in the back of my mind when I meet other people. Not that I care to ever be monogamous again, but developing a stronger relationship with some people over others is still a priority for me-if said person is worth that stronger development.

I know that I shouldn’t have a crush on this person because we’re actually probably not a very good fit. We each have other more compatible people out there in the world for us. But I can’t help it. And it’s sad to me when a crush fades so maybe I’m just trying to hold onto that feeling because I like the feeling, not because the crush is ever going to develop into anything.

10.) I am lazy (and picky) 

Sex takes a lot of effort and energy and time and care and consideration. And I don’t think I have much of any of that right now. So. Besides my on-going affair with Tango I plan to stay sex-free for awhile.

So take THAT Health.com I don’t need to do it with anyone else to be happy and content and fulfilled. I mean, yes, it could be nice, COULD be, but I’m not going to get all worried about it if it’s not happening with anyone. I’ll just be happy and content and fulfilled with myself.