Word + Word + Word.

4 12 2012

So. The reason there were basically no blogs in November was due to that National Novel Writing thing. Where people sign up to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

I did that.

Honestly, afterward, I feel nothing.

I know I should feel some sort of achievement but really I feel like I wrote the longest blog rant in the history of the universe.

In a way, it’s like all that writing didn’t even happen. I can barely remember it. Perhaps that’s how marathon runners feel. Oh yeah, I ran like 25 miles but I only remember the beginning and the end. Or something. I don’t know, I’ve never ran a marathon.

I do know that this “novel” that came out is no novel at all. It is merely a first layer of paint. Or as my friend said, an initial sketch (since paint cannot be erased and pencil can). So, these 50,000 + words are the building blocks for something better.

Obviously writing a readable novel in 30 days in pretty much impossible. I mean it took Faulkner six weeks to write As I lay Dying.

And though it took Kerouac three weeks to write On the Road (on a speed binge, mind you) he still had to have someone edit it after.

So yeah, as Annie Dillard says her book The Writing Life,

“Some people lift cars too. Some people enter week-long sled races, go over Niagara Falls in barrels, fly planes through the Arc de Triomphe. Some people feel no pain in childbirth. Some people eat cars. There is no call to take human extremes as norms.”

What would be the norm as a writer is to go back and painstakingly fix every single sentence I wrote last month.

Until it is something.

Something more than the nothing that it is right now.

But I’m going to let it breath a little, like a nice glass of red wine—even though at this point it’s more like a can of Natural Light. Nonetheless, I’m going to let it rest and go back in a couple of weeks and try to resuscitate it.

Only time. And effort. Will tell.

Winner-180x180





5 Randoms: My Heart Isn’t Nearly as Bruised as My Body.

21 06 2012

1. Fiona Apple’s new album The Idler Wheel is amazing, as per usual. I’d rather an artist take their time to come out with something perfect than to just push stuff out for monetary (and fame) sake. Tidal though, will always be my favorite and it will always be the best no matter what.

2. I need to find a way to bruise less easily. I’ve always bruised incredibly easy—not matter my diet or exercise routine or whatever. I just looked up some tips. Looks like I need more vitamin K and crushed parsley leaves. If I had only known that years ago.

3. I think this week is more about re-training myself to sit here and write and less about the actual writing. Like, everything I’ve been writing is just random descriptions of things I’ve noticed or “conversations” to work on dialogue and I think that’s fine. I don’t need a major project right now. I just need to know that I can and will do this.

4. I’d just like to note that if I couldn’t say the word “vagina” I’d be out of a job. And I’m not the only one here. What a bunch of stupid shit happening right now. I feel like I should just stop paying attention because it’s just going to cause a brain aneurism or something just as dramatic.

5. Does anyone have suggestions for a good place to move? I’m really drawn to New Orleans for some reason. I think I could have a lot of fun there and I’ve never lived in the south before, but I’m open. I’d even be willing to ship myself overseas. Germany or Sweden or somewhere.  This won’t be for at least six months, but I need to start planning now if I really want to go.





5 Randoms: Tit for Tot.

20 06 2012

1. I wonder who the first person was to take a potato and go, “potato I’m going to make beautiful bite size bits out of you and fry them… and I will call them tots.” Because whoever that was, I thank them.

2. I really didn’t want to have a hang over today. And I guess, it’s not technically a hangover, I’m just tired because somehow I didn’t go to bed until like 5 in the morning. I looked out the window at one point and I was like, “oh my god, it’s already light outside.” That’s when I knew I was done for in regards to my writing this week. 10 hours? Only if I have a power-writing day-and it won’t be today.

3. The first couple of times I watched The Revolution it was not bad for a talk show; they had fashion, they had home improvement/home makeovers, they had food. Now it is just women crying about being awesome, but not being quite awesome enough. Lame. Just so you know ladies, you can never ever be good enough. You will never be good enough. Hence, why talk shows will always exist.

4. Where did that bruise come from?

5. Would your life would suck as a musician if you had just those one or two songs that people REQUIRED you to sing, thus being stuck singing the same songs you’re entire life. It would have to. I don’t think I could handle it. I’d probably become a crackhead. Not really. But, I’ll never have to worry about it, so I don’t even know why I’m thinking about it.

Back to bed.





5 Randoms: Writing + Being Fat + Not Liking You.

18 06 2012

1.) I’m changing my habits, without reading the book about changing habits. I’m just going to do it, because I can. The biggest change—actually writing. This week I’m going to attempt 10 hours. And I hope to slowly grow to 20 hours a week. I just have to get into a pattern and get over my psychological fear of actually doing the thing I should be doing. I don’t know which is harder– the development of a pattern or  getting over the fear. The pattern is difficult because my work schedule changes every week and it’s usually something ridiculous like, close the store Monday, work a mid-shift Tuesday and open Wednesday. So yeah, establishing a routine isn’t very possible. But making sure every room is clean, dishes are washed, emails returned, phone calls made–just to distract myself from writing– also not easy to get over. A writer’s dilemma–or just our basic behavior?

2. I want to reward myself if I’m able to do it; nothing too big since I need to do it every week any way. It’s just the beginning changes that are going to be the most challenging. I can’t even think of a good/cheap reward except maybe a trip to the thrift store for a “new” outfit. Maybe some SWEET ACTION! The best ice cream around town (pretty much the only vegan ice cream around town).

3. Speaking of vegan, there are two things I’ve always been insecure about, my weight and my intelligence. It’s taken a lot of time to accept what I look like physically as well as accept my limitations mentally. When people make “jokes” about either though, I still get pissed. And I will probably continue to do so my entire life. People can make all the cracks they want to about vegans in general because I know it’s just a defense mechanism brought on by feelings of guilt that have nothing to do with me. When it starts to have something to do with me, I’m no longer going to play nice.

4. In regards to playing nice—I want to learn how to punch.

People say, “oh you just swing your fist at someone’s face/stomach/balls etc.,” but no, a good punch has more going on than just that. I’m almost entirely sure of it.

5. It’s super hot around here, which I don’t mind–except when it comes to coffee. I need some sort of wake-up boost in the morning, especially if I’m going to be writing for hours, but hot coffee is just not working. I’m going to have to start brewing it the night before and chilling it. It’s the only way.

Because I already drink too many energy drinks at work.

I’d say it’s a terrible habit, but to be honest, if drink one I can guarantee-sell high-end toys with a smile. If I don’t drink one, I really don’t give a F what people buy. So, they’re worth it. Even though I’m sure in ten years they will be the cause of every known new/weird/deadly disease out there.

This guy is helping me get through my writing day. 





5 Words and Phrases People Need to Ease the F Up On.

30 05 2012

5. Seriously. 

Yes. Seriously. It’s so serious. It’s serious like my fist in your face. Knuckle sandwich style. See, now that’s a phrase that should be used more often.

As an example,

You: I don’t know what I want for lunch.

Me: How about a knuckle sandwich?

Now, there, isn’t that funny? Yes. Okay, let’s SERIOUSLY have people use knuckle sandwich on a regular basis instead. Though they have nothing to do with each other, but that’s not the point. We all just need to change out our words and phrases quicker than we do. Like changing bed sheets. We should do it every week, but most people don’t. Most people only do it like once a month or so. This is kind of how people treat language and I think it’s time we give it a more-regular washing.

Keep words fresh and clean! 

4. Bro.

As in, “what’s up bro.” Ecetera. Why bro and not sis? What is up with this? It’s weird to me because people use it as a term similar to “dude” now when I thought “bro” was a term to describe young white guys who look like rapists.

3. That’s What She Said. 

This is a pretty obvious one. It’s died down quite a bit and is no longer at its peak. Like that fucking Gotye song, it can indeed be overplayed. Perhaps because it’s the easiest go-to at my work when one is attempting humor. I know I’ve used it way too often myself.

2. No Bueno. 

What movie is this from? EVERYONE is saying it now and I do not approve. I’ve said it twice and both times I felt very uncomfortable doing it. Why? Because I don’t know WHY people are saying it all the time. So, no, no, it’s no good.

1. Right.

Right? Riiiggghttt? It’s become a fucking tick. Right is the new like, I’m pretty sure. People are saying it after every sentence.

For example:

If I said: “That tweaker is insane.” The person I am conversing with will, 9 times out of 10, respond with: “rrriiggghtt? *Giggle Giggle*”.

I’ve noticed different ways of saying it too. Like, right as a confirmation, right as a question, right at a declaration. It’s a diverse, malleable sort of word.  And it needs to go away. Because now that I’m noticing its spread it’s going to drive me nuts. I don’t want to have to be confrontational about it, but more than likely, I’m going to have to start calling people out so they stop. Of course, I must start with myself because I have fallen into the trap as well, but NO LONGER! I am over it. And you should be too!

Word to your mother.